May Challenge(s) Day 10! (Late): Childhood & Daily Routine

Childhood… It’s pretty difficult taking a photo of my childhood, seeing as it’s several years and over a thousand miles away. So, this will be more of a ‘throwback’ of sorts.

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I had just gotten through with Daily routine! Actually, I thought I might have accidentally mixed up themes for the day. Glad to see it’s not so, but I did so prefer it when it only had to be through photos..

No two days are ever the same with me. I am a college student, and am involved in different things, especially as of late. I also have my personal internet life (and non-internet life, of course) where i keep blogs and whatnot. Like this one! So it’s hard to put everything down. Maybe I’ll do a summary of MW, TR, F, and/or the weekend.

Mondays I wake up early–or rather, my mom wakes me up–and I rush to get my things together to get out of the house by 5:20am tops. If it’s a more relaxed day, I’ll be out of there by 7am.  I’ll get rushed last-minute to the train station, buy my ticket, and I’m off! Time for another sleepy morning adventure back to school. Perfect napping time~  Once I get to my apartment, I usually doze off for a while and get up for my women’s studies class. That usually goes really well. After, it’s just time to catch up with my shows. Which reminds me, I haven’t gotten to the last two episodes of Game of Thrones yet. Bah! Tuesdays I wake up a lot earlier, rush off at the last minute to class and do the whole ‘school’ thing until around 4pm. Then, it’s back to my apartment and tumblr/youtube/wordpress/facebook. Wednesday and Thursday go pretty much as the last two days, minus the train ride. Then there’s the added art club meetings/workshops on Thursday nights. Friday goes the same as Monday, but headed back to L.A. Sometimes  I meet really cool individuals, like I did this past Friday. It’s one of my favorite parts of having had to take the train since freshman year of college, back in ’09.

The weekends go a lot different to what happens in-week. I’m a part of this way of life within the Catholic church called the Neo Catechumenal way. It really consumes all of my life outside of whatever I do at school.  I love it, though. I don’t think of it as taking up my time, or anything quite like that. I love it.  We have Eucharist (or, service) on Saturday nights that go almost exactly like what we do at a regular Sunday masses, with a few exceptions. I’m not going to go into any specifics, though. These past two Sundays we have been evangelizing. We march down the streets of L.A. from our church and to the square, where we have a catechesis. We invite people both at the church and in the streets to follow us, to follow God, as the disciples followed Jesus. Throughout the entire time, we are singing and playing our guitars, clapping our hands, banging our drums. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen.  Throughout the weekend there are, of course, interactions with my family, good and bad. I love  that we all have a great love for God and the Way. It just makes all parts of our lives connect in a way that just wasn’t possible before.

There you go, this is how my week pretty much goes. There’s always changes, of course; little things here and there. Hope I didn’t bore you with this one haha. Night all!

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Dreams Left Unrealized

It occurs to me that we are our own greatest enemy, but also our own greatest motivation and sense of … I don’t know. But it’s funny how we can be so for and yet so against ourselves. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who’s thought this at some point of my life. The reason I’m saying this is that lately –or, for a really long time, now– I’ve been wanting and debating with myself whether or not to upload videos of myself singing covers on YouTube, and just starting a vlog in general.

I’ve never been the funny sort. Not by conventional means, anyway. (that I know of anyway.) Trust me, I’m one of those people who laughs at my own jokes. (And yet, when it comes to other people’s jokes I can be a tad bit slow hah!) Also, I don’t really think of things on a deeper level. I mean, I do. Obviously. Or else I wouldn’t have started a blog in the first place. I have things to talk about! Still, I feel like it really wouldn’t be worthy of the attention of youtubers? Maybe this is more instilled in me than anything, as I grew up believing (as most women and children do) that I must not say anything unless it is worth saying. “Dumb” or “misinformed” comments are not appreciated. I must always have a concise thought if I am to state it. It’s a horrid system, I know. But it’s gotten me out of quite a few situations. And you can bet that whenever I did have something to say, I made very valid points that would give whoever I was interacting with something to think about.

As for the singing.. I’ve always liked my voice. I know there are things to work out when it comes to it. I need to learn techniques, I need to learn what my style truly is. I’ve been singing since I was a kid. It started with choir in elementary, worked it’s way through until I made it to all-city choir one year (which, now that I think about it, was an incredible feat. Seriously one of my prouder moments. I still remember most of that experience). That was about the last time I participated in any ensemble publicly. I stopped and continued in music by playing flute for seven (7) years. I loved that time, don’t get me wrong. Still, I always felt like it wasn’t enough and that being in band was cheating me from my love of singing. I mean, we all know that you possibly sing and play flute at the same time, right? That’d be crazy! haha Not that I mind a bit of crazy every now and again. Instead I started learning and singing songs for myself. Never performing, always a secret part of me. I’m pretty sure I would sing to myself in public, though, so it wasn’t so so secretive. I’m not sure how long ago it was, but I remember going online and seeing people post videos of covers they did. I absolutely loved the idea, but never actually went for it. I did, however, start recording myself singing. Or talking. It just happened that I sang more than I talked into a camera. When I did do my own sort of ‘vlog’ it was more of a time when I’d capture my musings as I walked home after class or observed nature at its most beautiful (always). Recently, I have recorded myself with the intention of posting it for the world to see. It was around this time that I started thinking seriously about blogging and letting myself be known by others. I really am that quiet gal standing just behind others haha. Kind of sad, really. Think of all the missed opportunities to meet people for myself and be known for the type of person I really am–a goofball who goes for the banana hat at the store. (See: avatar.) Still, out of all of this, a blog was born on tumblr. (wandreer.tumblr.com for all you creepers lovely people that would like to see more.) Still, it isn’t enough. I need to get across and reach more people. I feel like, if I can reach a certain number of individuals with my thoughts and can have them relate on an intellectual or emotional level, I can die a successful person. (Though, really, I’d prefer to not be struck dead if it does happen. I like living! Even with the ‘labyrinth of suffering’ as John Green puts it in his novel [i]’Looking for Alaska'[/i]. (I just finished reading it last weekend!)) I have yet to realize the YouTube dream.  Makes me wonder of maybe I can start another resolution for 2014. Even if the ‘new years rosulutions’ time has passed. NEW Resolution for 2014: post at least one (1) video a month online. Can be vlog or cover of song or anything else. This will be initiated this month of April in the year of 2014.   Which means l really only have a few days left to do this. Oh gee I hope I’m ready for this.

Anyway the reasons that I started thinking on this subject of ourselves becoming our own worst critic and yet best motivator is that l was watching a few covers on youtube after just thinking that l should start mine. I was seriously thinking that had talent. That there was absolutely no reason why l shouldn’t kind of showcase myself. Then of course I go watch some of these videos and am blown away by their voices and start doubting myself. This is less than half an hour after read my a blogpost my cousin wrote about her issues on self-confidence. I’ll post a link after my ‘rant’ is done. I hope with this realization I’ll start putting more of myself out. there. Its hard, but doable.

To my public: is there anything you feel you have been holding out on about yourselves for fear of criticism or self-doubt? lf you do (or have in past) what steps have you taken-or could you take-to overcome it? l’m interested in your stories..

 

And with that I bid adieu and goodnight. Until next time!  …l feel like l need to come up with some catchphrase or something for the end at my posts. I’ll think of something. Hopefully.   Night!